Kingdom Hearts Talk Show
by oxfinalheartsxo
Summary: A 2 shot talk show about the unanswered questions of kingdom hearts. well, at least a few. R & R please.
1. Chapter 1

oxFHxo: I thought this would be funny. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: None of the characters or songs are mine. Excpet for Rena, which is the name I am using in place of oxFHxo.

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(Background music of simple and clean)

"Hi everyone and welcome back to Final Hearts Afternoon Show, I'm your host Rena. Three years after the Kingdom Hearts incident, Sora is here to tell us the behind the scenes that you didn't see when you played the game. Come on out here Sora!" I am excited. My first talk show!

You can hear the crowd cheer as Sora walks out on stage while the security holds back the fan girls.

Sora says, "Heyy Rena! Long time no see!"

He reaches out and we do our secret handshake.

"So Sora how's your love life with Kairi going?" I ask.

Sora replies, "Well, Rena, pretty good. I finally found her again. Jeez I swear that girl can never stay in one spot!"

The audience laughs.

I continue with the interview, "Ya now, I saw the 60 Minute special that was on last week about you, lets take a look at it."

We (Sora, the audience, and me) turn towards a huge screen to watch.

Pans in, _This is a 60 Minute Special_

Sora shows up on the screen, with a pink bar below him showing his name. He's obviously in an interview or something.

He starts,"_The whole experience was tough. I was looking for my friends with Donald And Goofy, but I wasn't getting anywhere it seemed, with all those damned heartless coming at me all the time! And don't even get me started on those nobodies, what a pain in the butt. I didn't even know what was going to happen, and then all of a sudden the Ansem I beat wasn't the real one? I was like, what the crap was that about? Anyways, things were getting harder and harder to understand, with a whole new book of Ansem reports to collect, hopefully actually written by him this time, and then Hollow Bastion is just getting back to normal when it is struck by complete chaos….** again!** I mean, can't the Keyblade master get a break every once in awhile?_"

The screen fades back to black and Sora's voice trails away while the everyone turns back to their regular posistion.

"Can't a Keyblade master get a break every once in a while? Got to love that quote there. So Sora, did you ever get a break?" I question.

He replies, "Well, to be honest, never. I don't think I will, well, not until I die. Then I feel bad for the person that gets my Keyblade! Will they have to go through all of this too?"

I face the camera to add a little drama and say," I don't know, Sora, I don't know. We'll be back after these messages. Stay tuned!" I hold a fake smile until the camera man says "cut!" and we all stumble off the stage for some coffee while simple and clean fades out and commercials begin.


	2. Chapter 2

oxFHxo: Tee Hee. This was fun to make. I hope that you like it!

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts characters are owned by the people who made Kingdom Hearts, I & II. The song and title "Simple and Clean" are owned by Utada Hikaru.

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Background music of "Simple & Clean" fades in as the cameras all direct on me. God I love this business.

"We're back! Welcome to Final Hearts Afternoon Show, hosted by yours truly, Rena! Okay, so you beat the game, Kingdom Hearts. Did you ask why Ansem said 'darkness' about 14 times in his speech? Well, our special guest today is Ansem, a.k.a. Xehanort's other or whatever, and we will be asking him exactly that! Bring out the man!"

Ansem crosses the stage, his shadow companion not too far behind, while many "boos" are heard throughout the audience. The sics his monster on a member of the audience. Let's just say we're one short of a full house now.

"Now, now, Ans," I tut, "That's not very nice now is it?"

"I hate you." Ansem retorts.

Kind of creepy? I scoot my chair over. A good ten feet should do it.

"Err…" I plaster a cheesy smile on, and face the camera, even though in the corner of my eyes I am looking at Ansem warily. " So, Ans, when you were on Destiny Islands and gave Sora the speech about darkness and everything like that, why did you say, erm, darkness about fourteen times? "

"Well you see, I have a very limited…um..what do you call it…word bank?"

"Vocabulary."

"DON'T YOU CORRECT ME!" he snarls, then takes a deep breath and smiles, "Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he glares at me. I move over a little more, "I was unprepared! I didn't think that that stupid _kid_ would be there that soon…I thought I might be able to fix up the island or something. But _noooo_ he had to come with his "light this" "light that" and then made me fly around the island! That little kid, ARGH I hate him so much! I COULD KILL HIM! BUT I GUESS YOU WOULD WORK TO! WHYD YOU HAVE TO BRING ALL THESE FEELINGS TO THE TOP?" At that point in time, I was really freaked out. Wouldn't you be if this tanned skin guy comes running at you, flips up your table – knocking over my coffee, and that was good stuff – that you use everyday, and sics a demonic shadow heartless thing at you?

"Commercial break!" I am shouting, as the monster is trying to give me that deadly "?" massage. "COMMERCIAL BREAK!" I trip in front of a camera, "ThatsallthetimewehavefortodayTHANKSFORLISTENINGBYE!" I blurt with that smile. The cameras turn off. The news will have a field day with this one. I frown. "SECURITY!"

The team comes rushing in. A mouse, a duck, and a dog. By this time the audience had finished running around aimlessly and headed out the door, deciding that the parking lot was a bigger and more dramatic place to draw attention and be on the 5:00 news. I, on the other hand, was confused. "What the? What happened to Stan and Murt?"

Stan and Murt were my original security officers. "OW!" I was on my stomach, with a shadow demon punching my head into the floor, while I tried to figure out what these three were trying to get at by being security officers. I managed to get up. "Stop! Just can you stop it please?" I was screaming at the monster. It was confused. "STOP! What are you! Get a life! Just go find Ansem or whatever." I stopped and thought for a second. "OH I AM GUNNA KILL HIM!"

I started for the door, but security held me back. Only the mouse let go. But that's probably because I bit it. When I was calming down, they sat me down in a studio chair that wasn't broken. Well, actually it was missing an armrest. But who cares? I had to focus on the three.

The dog stepped forward, "Gwarsh, I'm Goofy at your service!" he said while he saluted.

"Wak! I'm Donald!"

"Well gee, I'm King Mickey! Uhuh!"

I glared at them. Then I smiled. I had an idea.

"Hey guys! Great that you're here! I needed new security officers anyway."

They beamed. My intentions were really to have them on the show. Try to get dirt on Sora. This was going to be _great._

"Owch!" I looked down at my arm. It was bleeding from the broken armrest.

"Dammit!" I looked up. The whole place was trashed. "Looks like that's the end of _my _business." The cameramen were gone. Even my new security was gone. Chunks of the wall were missing, and electric cords were spitting sparks. A slow, drunk version of simple and clean began to play. I broke down crying.

"I JUST WANTED THE COFFEE!" I scream into the echoing room. But no. Even that was gone, being soaked up into new burbur set carpet...

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oxFhxo: Review please!  



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